Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Choosing the Positive

People who have mood disorders are on the receiving end of a lot of negative energy in their lives. Things like criticism, disagreement, discord, faultfinding, judgment and nitpicking are seldom strangers to someone who has depression or bipolar. Sometimes the negative feedback comes directly from the person themself. All too often they are their own worst critic, and this steady stream of negative feedback can make problems even worse:

  • It deepens discouragement that may trigger additional stress.
  • It usually adds to a loved one’s shame, guilt and already low self-esteem.
  • It makes difficult situations even more difficult.
  • It can cause a loved one to lose hope, give up and adopt a “what’s the use?” mentality.
  • It may eventually lead to suicide ideation, or even worse.

Something they don’t often get enough of is understanding and compassion, and this is so unfortunate. When we as companions, family members or caregivers are able to provide compassionate understanding of our loved one’s behavior, however irrational or inappropriate that behavior may be, we have the potential of gaining the following:

  • Greater insight of what our loved one is dealing with and how their illness is interfering with their ability to make healthy choices.
  • Identifying and prioritizing our loved one’s needs (medical care, therapy, support groups, nutrition, stress reduction, shelter, etc.)
  • Discovering and implementing recovery tools that help motivate our loved one toward achieving managed stability.
  • Establishing mutually agreed upon realistic goals (“small steps”) and avoiding pressurized unrealistic goals (“huge steps”), and then achieving those goals.

When our loved one uses poor judgment or makes an unhelpful or unhealthy choice, our choice should be to stay positive and remember that they may be doing the very best they can at the moment. Through compassionate understanding we and our loved one can continue to move in the direction of stability, regardless of how small the steps we are able to manage at the time.

Choosing positive directions is vital to recovery. Let’s try to always choose wisely.

 

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The Habit of Healthy Choices


Many of us have heard the phrase, I have bipolar but bipolar doesn’t have me! (Or, sometimes, I have depression but depression doesn’t have me!)

This can be especially true for those of us with loved ones who are doing everything they possibly can to assure their own ongoing stability and the enjoyment that comes with managed recovery. As companions, family members and caregivers, we can all feel blessed when someone we care very much about is consistently highly functional and maintains a daily habit of making healthy choices. Choices like:


  • Getting adequate sleep each night.
  • Eating regular, nutritious and balanced meals while maintaining weight control.
  • Following all aspects of their treatment plan and not deviating from the plan without first discussing any possible changes with their doctor.
  • Staying sober--no alcohol or un-prescribed drugs…ever.
  • Seeing their therapist…regularly.
  • Attending a support group…regularly.
  • Successfully avoiding all “triggers” (stressful situations, people, choices that can bring about anxiety and other emotional upsets).

Someone with a brain illness who is experiencing ongoing stability can see how recovering from a disabling mood disorder is always more successful when done with others in supportive roles. They also usually realize recovery is rarely successful when going it alone.

When our loved one has a mood disorder but their disorder doesn’t have them, we know it. And we know, too, it will never have us, either.